This is the piece I never thought I’d write, even though at least one page in each of the 60 or notebooks in milk crates and cartons I have carried around for over 30 years; since I was 13 years old. It is one of the many episodes of the Gumpian coming of age story that has been my 50 painful years on this planet. Painful because I have been scared to write these five words — simple, English words. But one of those words is perhaps the most complex and…